Remember when you attended kindergarden on the first day? You didn't know anyone there at the start but before you know it, you're already playing with someone like you knew each other for years. It was easier to make friends then, when we were younger that is. Because nothing was superficial. Everyone didn't have to act or hide about themselves. They meant every word they said. Life's different now being a teenager. You never know who's true. People pick friends, judge one another. Then, gradually, all that people see of us are just facades. It's inevitable I guess. A friendship rarely last forever especially when each of us go our separate ways, knowing a new circle of friends. Makes you wonder how someone can replace you so effortlessly. Sometimes, even friends can turn to strangers despite the fact that you guys were once close. You see, that's why being immature, ignorant and innocent is bliss. At least you know you're you, not someone you make yourself become because of others judgment or how you want to "blend" in.

Today sucked big time, minus the time spent with Sya,Hazel, Wenning, Tania, Marc.

Singles screwed. Doubles screwed. Quartet will be screwed too. All I wish now is not having to find my name on the second piece of paper when I check my position. Dad's asking me to give up on bowling since my average always seem to be dropping. He never liked the idea of me bowling in the first place. You know, it makes me feel like a failure since I'm neither excelling in bowling nor academics. Even my social life is fked up.








We only had Emath lesson to attend before school ended. I bought the top-card card so I've got a temporary number in use now. (Thanks Narmy!)

Went for Caregroup. Results have always been a worry to me but it was today that I realized there was something more important than just mere results. It's scary how the consequences will be if things go on this way.

The bus ride back to town felt like the longest ride I've ever been on. I'm feeling damnit lethargic now. Must be the weather. It's so humid and there's hardly any breeze.

Oh yeah, my teacher told Mum that I'm talkative? HAHA! Not only me what. At least it's the holidays already! Finally =D But it doesn't really feel like a holiday though. School piled us up with tons of homework, as expected. There's OBS,NAG and extra lessons. Really need to plan my time wisely since I have to buck up and do lots of revision. I still have lots of movies to catch, gatherings to attend, people to catch up with.

& my brother is mad. He claims that his voice broke. Omg, crazy fella. Know what's the reason behind his make believe breaking of voice? "If my voice breaks, I'm mature". Couldn't stop laughing at him.

Alright, I'm off (:



School was the bomb. Playing really gay songs on the speakers (actually I like those songs) while cleaning up our classroom. Having baseball-football for PE (= The day cannot get any better.

Tomorrow, school's ending at 10:05am! Hell yeah! Happy me.

Amos, how's this post?



Today, it seemed like it takes forever for school to end.
I'm HAPPY though (See, Amos, SEE!)
After school was pretty fun, that's always the case. After school.

I don't want it to be a one-sided thing.
It's scary how important someone can mean to you.
But what you mean to that someone is nothing compared to someone else.
It just makes you seem so foolish.

I really can't expect that much from you huh.





Teacher said I've gone astray thus my mid year results. And I did a stupid thing during assembly today. Oh dear, it was really embarrassing. Not gonna talk about it. SPA didn't go too well. The practical part that is. But I'm pretty confident for theory? I don't know. My graph and explanation seems alright.

I miss surprises.

- - - -

Replies:

Michellina: Haha thanks girl! I think the principal got too many parents to see so now I'm seeing the HOD which is a hell lot better. At least it seems less serious. =D

Cheeying: Yeah thanks a lot. I'll link you soon yup!

Amos: Everyone surely has a time whereby they'll feel down. Me saying that I'm not an emo kid means that I don't feel emo that often! (:

Gabriella: Sure.

Passer-by: Guess you're wrong.



I guess somewhere along the line, I sidetracked too far out in life.
It's time to find my way back, especially after that day, that talk.

This is when changes come in.



My mid-years results really sucked. Comparing them to how others did when they were secondary 3 or how my classmates did? It gives me a reason to feel so crestfallen. My life is all messed up and all that shit. Kept telling myself that I need to buck up but nothing is coming from me. What a sucker. My parents even got to see the vp or p. Just great. That's like the worst thing that can ever happen to me. I don't know how to bring forth my results to them. Guess my dad is going to blow his top, confiscate my mobile phone, ripped me of my freedom to hang out during the holidays. I'm getting a prepaid anyway. Thanks for the phone.

School was gay. I was falling asleep half the time. But I love after-school time spent in the classroom, especially with that music blasting from the speakers and scribbling of lyrics on the white-board. I like those moments. Met Saimun at cine for awhile to pass him something. Amos loon just didn't want to believe me! So disappointed in him.... c(: HAHA!

I guess that's about it? Life isn't all that great now. I'm just glad that it's Friday.

--

Hey friend,.
I miss the past. I miss you (though I never seem to admit it). I don't want you to slip out of my life so effortlessly just like the others. It struck me that it's always the best ones leaving. It's always the ones that said they'll always be there for you. It's always them. You're a great friend to begin with and it's funny how we knew each other. I never saw that friendship growing but it still did in the end. You were my confidante, one of the best-est friend anyone could come across in their life. I just want you to know that despite how much we haven't been catching up with one another and both of us refusing to ask each other out, you'll always be one friend that I treasure.

I hope you know this is to you.





Gerald you emo kid.







Stayover was a-w-e-s-o-m-e, AWESOME though we only managed to keep awake till 2am. It was the company that made it all worthwhile. We cooked our own instant noodle dinner which wasn't that good tasting after all. Haha, and we watched horror movies where in the end, I was the only one watching because the rest went on to do other things.

I couldn't stop laughing when Narmatha told me what I did to her when we were sleeping since I shared a bed with her. Omg, crazy I tell you. I'm not going to embarrass myself here! :D Clara had a really cute dream too and Tania did stupid things while sleeping to her too. HAHAHA!

Head for Marina to eat at Jack's Place which we had a really difficult time finding. I must say this! I must must MUST say this! The service there sucks big time. Maybe it's just because we're students but wth, not like we're not paying for the food right? Argh! Irritating.

Anyway, we went to catch 200 pounds beauty( I'm not too sure what the title of the movie was) at cine. That movie is worth the money though. To me that is. It was so damn touching but funny at the same time!

Oh yeah, I never went shopping for a really long time until today. Great joy yo! But it is super tempting plus I'm running out of money. So here's what we're going to do. Run during recess so that we don't have to spend money on eating since recess isn't exactly necessary. Got to SAVE!

Okay bye.






Tania and I stayed up till 3/4 plus in the morning so as to bake that cake for my mum and make video for her too. Come to think of it, it's my first time baking a cake. It didn't turn out THAT bad, did it? Furthermore, we actually needed 3 eggs to bake that cake but guess what, we couldn't find any in our house. What the heck right (?!?) Not even a single egg in the house and there was no way we could get any since it was so so early in the morning. Had to do without it in the end and Tania figured maybe butter could help substitute the egg? I don't know why but yes.

Mum was amazed and shocked when she saw the cake in the morning. Didn't know how and when we made it since we were out the entire day yesterday. She kept insisting that we must take a photo of it and she went around showing it to my siblings and my dad. Yeah, I love my Mum though she may be a nag at times. I still love her a lot, a lot.

---

You're another person who's always there for me even though I never seem to be there for you whenever you're feeling down. Sorry about that. But hey, I really appreciate everything that you've done for me-all that cheering up and allowing me to understand some things in life. Like how a rainbow will always surface after the rain, you made so much sense out of it. Your optimistic perspectives on things amuses me, stay that way always alright (:



I've got picture of you but nah, I shan't put it up. 17 year old. I don't like 17 year olds... Haha, but I still love gerald lee because he said he'll forever be my 'weekday special friend', all that smooth talking of yours. It's been a long time since we last met though. Is it? Long enough for me not seeing you in braces yet . Thanks for always knowing when to cheer me up, always wasting your time messaging me whenever I'm about to die of boredom. I really really thank God for a friend like you. You're truly one in a million.

--

My house is filled with boxes now since we're moving out. The only thing is, we haven't found a place to live in yet. Funny. The only available house my dad has is the one at Jurong but I don't want to move there for many reasons. Guess Tania and I pissed my mum this evening because we were arguing with her over that.

Picking Dad up at the airport later. I'm not sure if he's getting me the vodka I requested. Anyway, I love the airport. It's just nice. Like esplanade.




Learning journey was alright. I had to go to the NEWater visitor centre, again! It's my 4th time by the way. At least they revamped that place so it wasn't all that bad. By the time we returned to school, I was dead beat. I was in serious need of sleep but we still had to attend this talk on eyecare? I practically knocked out during the talk.

Bummed around Far East with Michelle, Narmy, Clara. Retail therepy. I feel like splurging on so so many things but crap I don't have enough money. I need new EVERYTHING. I think my dad is going to just scream when he comes back from his overseas trip because I already spent like 40 bucks in 3 days? Die. But I still want to buy new things.

I guess I should be attending service tomorrow. Haven't been attending it for 9034832 years and then maybe I'll go out after that? Dad's not in town after all. Haha but it's okay, exams are over too anyway. So nah, don't feel guilty.

Oh yeah, I'm planning to bake something for my Mum for Mother's Day (: I just hope it'll turn out fine because other than that, I seriously don't know what else to get for my Mum. It's like she already has everything. Pointless getting her something that she doesn't need or something she already has eh.



It seems inevitable.
These things seem to have the habit of finding you again.

But I'm just hoping,
I won't lose you.
I won't lose a great friend.
I won't be left with only memories.
I won't be left with a song that reminds me of you.

Ironically, we're barely talking.
And I'm doing nothing about it.
You're so distant and stranger-like,
to the extent that a smile was all I could muster up.



I feel so weak. But that's alright because today I had tons of fun (: It's the company I guess, even though we weren't able to sun-tan as planned because mister sunshine just refused to come out. The rain was fun too anyway, considering the fact that it wasn't heavy at all.

We did really silly things.
So it was beach all the way till evening then heading for vivo.

Pictures to come =D

Sorry I couldn't make it for the picnic.



It felt so real. It never felt THAT real before. I didn't want it to end. You know, it was such a disappointment, because the feeling I felt? It couldn't get any sweeter.

I'd give my tomorrow for one yesterday.

---

Eh wth? Chem is like so alskdjalkfdjglf and I'm like feeling so jigbknrslkfjn now because I still havent' revised my History which is also going to be lkwejfmlksjnc which means I'm going to be so dead for tomorrow but I don't want to be dead ):

Furthermore, the weather is damn humid today but I still have this flu that is making things worst. THIS SUCKS.




Thank you Narmatha for the treat! =D
I miss my grandmother, yet again.





I typed out a really long post but I figure nah, I'll keep it short.

Today is an extremely horny day. Joyene/Michelle/Santhiya/Clara/Tania/ Ken, HAHA! Rocket take off (Go figure). Everything. Joyene traumatizes people. Big time.

Was I really blushing? Damn, that's embarrassing. I love you anyway, I really do (: And I was seriously serious about those questions I asked okay!( If you can remember them, that is.)

I've got a bad headche now and I felt so sick when I was in the cab home. The taxi-driver just had to make one big round. Sucker /:

Thought it through. I'm over it.
I'm not going to give a damn about -.
I don't know what happens from now though.



It's not that hard to imagine.
It's not that easy to forget.

It was the time of my life.



My mum doesn't allow me to get a navel piercing nor another piercing on my ear. She says that's too vain. HAHA! And I've been trying to study the whole day but I can't seem to settle down and do it. I did study a little though, social studies. Hate that subject /: My dad just made a really attractive offer to me. 70 average and I get EVERYTHING I want. Damn. Tempting...

I like the new channel 8, 9pm show. It's really funny.

Yeah, chinese paper tomorrow.