Just get your act together, or baby give it up

"There's nothing to feel inferior about right?" Who am I kidding. I have every reason in the world to feel jealous. To feel that I shouldn't even be here. To feel small and insignificant in this big, big world. After all, you're everyone's precious.

If you really got to know. I'm not doing so good. You'll never understand how hard it is to fake that smile. Pretend everything is fine. Lie to myself. Lie to everyone else. It isn't easy to just go on and tell myself nothing happened. Because you know what? It hurts. Far greater than i thought it would ever. Maybe you guys should know your limits and shut the hell up. Even if it was only for a minute.

Uncle Adam said whenever he sees us during interclub, Ben and i, we'll be bickering. Over what? I don't know. We always seem to be able to find something against each other. Or rather, we would try to find something. It's getting too much.

I miss the times when the squad was more bonded. More like one. Especially the cheers we did together. Yes, those cheers. I really do miss it. What happened huh. If I held another bbq like our last one, would things turn for the better? Would we still go shop for groceries in the van together? Would we?